3 Secrets: What It *Really* Takes To Be A Success

The older I get, (don’t even ask 😉 ) the more I understand what it takes to become a success.

I’ve been a therapist, observed people, coached them, and I read – a lot.

But there are a few things that are important to understand about becoming a success, and if you don’t understand these from the outset (as many people don’t) you’ll miss the boat on success altogether.

So of course, I want to share these secrets about what it really takes to be a success with you today.

Success Secret #1

The first secret to success is that you must truly understand what success means to you. Not what it meant to your parents, or what it means to society, but what you feel will make you a successful person at the end of the day. What do you have to do to feel like you “done good” with your life?

You don’t have to look very far to see that people have very different ideas about what being a success means. I was recently invited to be one of 50 bloggers  interviewed for  a piece for the Huffington Post entitled “What is Success?”

Huff Post Success

If you read through the responses, (mine is number 39) you’ll quickly see that success means something different to each person. The takeaway here is that you have to define success for yourself. If you don’t you’ll be living someone else’s idea of success and you’ll be miserable.

You have to live the life that feels right to you, in whatever way that means. It has to line up with your values and priorities. In order for your life to work, you really have to understand what your values and priorities are, and then constantly be making choices and adjustments to fit that.

Success Secret #2 

Decide what you want. Decisions are powerful. Once you have made a decision, you’re no longer in limbo. You know what path you’re on and you know what to focus on (finally!) Instead of bouncing from place to place, your brain can place all its energy on one thing – your goal.

Making a decision, as you well know, isn’t always easy. But sometimes it’s easier than you think. We often torture ourselves with fears that are really peripheral to our goal. For example, if you know you really do want the promotion, but you’re terrified about the success it might bring and also it kicks up all your fears of failure, those things are actually separate from what you want.

The fears are scary, and feel real. But they don’t change your desire, and they probably shouldn’t change your decision. Too often though, we let our fears convince us that we didn’t really want it that bad anyway, or that we were just too scared to begin with.

Recognize what you want despite your fears, and then make a decision about how much power you are willing to let your fear have. If your fear wins right now, then it does. Just recognize you’ve made a choice.

If you can make a different decision, and keep going despite your fear, you’re on the road to success.

Success Secret #3

Never give up. If you’re doing something hard, you’re going to have a setback, or 12. That’s just the way it is. Expect it. Don’t be disappointed or surprised. It’s just the way it goes. It’s never easy to do something hard. Or else that hard thing would be easy. Right?

Overnight successes don’t happen overnight. People who seem to have gotten lucky, didn’t. People who are living the dream earned it. I promise. Even most lottery winners end up broke after a certain period of time, because they don’t have a success mindset.

You have to develop a success mindset if you want to be successful. The most fundamental principle of a success mindset is this: Never give up on your goals and dreams.

No matter if life seems to bash you. No matter if you seem alone. No matter if the universe keeps putting boobie traps in your path.

Never giving up is EXACTLY what it takes to win at life. You can’t give up because even though you might have support, you have to, without fail, be in your own corner. No one is going to carry it across the finish line for you. The truth is, even if they want to, no one can carry it for you. This is your race.

Good luck!

Tell me, what secrets to success have you learned? What’s worked for you? And what’s still missing?


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