Warning: There Are 6 Ways You Are Giving Wrong

We’ve officially entered the “Season of Giving,” but let’s be honest, if you’re like anyone I know,  you give year ’round.

Now, you might not be wrapping your gifts in shiny paper and bows all year, but you are giving – no matter what month the calendar is turned to. 

You volunteer to take on that extra project at work. 

You offer to bake 6 dozen cupcakes for your daughter’s bake sale.

You host a Tupperware party for your friend, because you have the living space. 


We’re told that giving is the path to fulfillment, but instead, do you secretly feel angry and resentful, and then wonder why you’re such a Grinch?

Well, it’s probably that you’re doing it wrong. Set it right, and you can enjoy that  fabled warm glow too.


How You’re Giving Wrong 


Here’s the 6 ways that you’re giving wrong: 

1. You give when you don’t really want to give: You don’t have time to take on an extra assignment, but you do it anyway. Whether you volunteer for it, or you have difficulty saying no, giving when you don’t really want to give sets you up to feel resentful.

2. You give what you don’t want to give: You really hate baking cupcakes, but you want to help out your 2nd grader’s class. If you’re cursing up a storm instead of baking up one, giving can cause you to feel less fulfilled and more frazzled.

3. You give with conditions: If you expect a thank you, reciprocation, or someone to visit you in the hospital if the time ever comes, good luck with that. You might not think that you’re giving based on these conditions, but ask yourself – how would you feel if these things don’t happen?

4. You give to avoid something: You don’t want to be that guy- the one that never volunteers, the one that seems to never take one for the team – so to avoid public shame you raise your hand, even if you don’t want to.

5. You over give: Do you give till it hurts?

6. You treat yourself to the wrong things: Sometimes we give to ourselves to fill up a hole inside. Instead of truly filling ourselves up with love, we fill ourselves up with food, with new gadgets, with whatever we believe is the next thing that we need to make us happy.

Whatever you’re giving, probably, underneath it all, you have expectations for your giving. You may not be aware of your expectations. You may even deny that you expect anything at all. But when our expectations for giving aren’t met we get upset.

How to Give Well

It’s only when you give from an irresistible need to give that you can truly experience the glow from giving. You can tap into this irresistible need to give by giving from your passions.Give from love in your heart. Do you absolutely love to sing? When you share that you will experience what giving is all about. Find what it is that you love to give, and give it. Watch what happens.

What do you think? I’d love it if you’d post your comments below!


Coaching, Passions, Personal Development

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