
photo credit: Camdiluv ♥ via photopin cc
Everywhere you look there’s someone talking about how to go about finding your passion.
It seems we’re obsessed with the idea of finding passion.
And like anything else that everyone is talking about, there’s debate about it.
People want to know:
What is passion – is it that fiery feeling you have about an activity, or is it the thing that makes you jump out of bed every day that you simply must accomplish in your lifetime?
How, exactly, do you find your passions?
Do skills trump passion – in other words, are you better off in your career by focusing on what you’re good at rather than what you love?
Do you need to have passion? Or can you simply have work you enjoy and have that be good enough?
The Great Passion Debate
Even though we’re obsessed with passion, we can’t agree on what it is, how important it is, or how to go about finding it.
My intent is not so much to create a guide for you to use, as it is to start a conversation (though if my thinking here clarifies things for you that’s great).
So, here are my answers to the questions above.
Passion vs. mission – know what you’re seeking
First off, I think we can agree that it’s easy to get lost if we don’t know what we’re looking for. So let’s agree on some definitions first.
To me, passions are activities that get us fired up. They are often the tools we use to accomplish our mission.
Our mission, sometimes called our ‘purpose’ or our ‘why’ is the thing we want to accomplish in our lifetime or be engaged with during our life.
Our mission is the thing that makes us feel “at home” or “on purpose” and without it we feel a little lost in life, like we’re drifting and like there’s something we should be doing, but we don’t quite know what it is.
I think people often say they want to find their passion when what they’re truly seeking is their mission.
Passions without mission can be fun, but they sometimes lack a deeper meaning.
This is why passions can seem all over the place – we have too many, we sometimes get bored of them. They can lack the substance of mission.
Mission can be an overarching life goal that can take on many different forms during one’s lifetime. For example, one might be a life-long teacher, and the form that takes on may look different at different points in life.
The process of finding your mission
Finding your mission looks a little different for everyone, which is why a one size fits all prescription is so difficult to create.
Just like in therapy, no two client experiences are the same. But in therapy there is an overarching framework of how therapy works which consists of building an alliance with the client and helping them re-write their negative story into a more positive one.
The same is true for finding your mission, though the framework is different. One of the elements for the framework is that your whole life up until this point has been leading you to it.
It can feel very difficult to see until you find it and then it’s like it was staring you in the face the whole time. See what Christine Guthery said about her experience seeing this after the fact.
An intense and personal approach to finding your passion and your mission, like coaching, helps you because it is much easier for someone to see this from an outside perspective than it is to spot these patterns from inside your own life.
The process of finding your passion
There are many good passion finding exercises out there. I think the problem for many people who have tried them and still have come up empty is that they are truly seeking their mission instead of their passion and then they wonder why nothing fits.
If you’re looking for passions, you can get started with resources here.
If you’re looking for mission, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get an outside perspective on it and do some soul searching on the questions from this post.
Do skills trump passion?
Do skills trump passion- in other words, are you better off in your career by focusing on what you’re good at rather than what you love?
It depends on how you define “better off.”
If, to you, better off means ‘happier’, then probably not. You’ll probably be happier by focusing on doing what you love, provided that you balance that focus with a focus on doing what you love in a sustainable way. That means, you don’t want to do what you love and starve to death in the process.
If better off means ‘richer and more successful’, then possibly. Focusing solely on what you’re good at might get you there.
But we’ll have to assume that “good at” means that not only do you have the raw skills and talent to achieve a task, but you also have the stamina and willpower to push yourself through doing something that you don’t love and may not even like, over and over again.
But then again, maybe skills aren’t where you should focus because you also have to account for the success that the rocket-fuel that you inject into the equation when you’re living your mission and passions . . .
I think we can agree that ideally, the greatest success is at the nexus of what we’re good at and what we love to do. And if there’s nothing at that intersection right now, use your passion to drive you to build skills in whatever area you love.
So quit arguing about this question and start focusing on getting good at what you love. Then you don’t have to worry about it.
Do you need passion?
Do you need to have passion? Or can you simply have work you enjoy and have that be good enough?
Of course you don’t need to have passion!
Don’t be silly.
You don’t need passion, just like you don’t need to drive the Amalfi coast.
Like you don’t need to drink 96 point wine.
Like you don’t need to wear a delicious cashmere sweater while watching a roaring fire and the snowflakes fall on a panoramic view of the White Mountains.
And you certainly don’t need to have sunshine. Or white sand beaches.
You just want those things.
You want to see your life in full color. Who doesn’t? So why settle for work you enjoy? Just because finding your passion is hard? Please.
You’re going to let a little hard stop you from a life that feels worth getting out of bed for in the morning?
I didn’t think so.
Finding your passion
If you’re not doing what you love, your very first step is to make a commitment that you’re going to start moving – however slowly – toward whatever it is that makes your heart sing.
And if you don’t yet know what that is, your first step is to begin to find out.
In the comments below, I want to hear what you think, and also about what’s still standing in your way of finding your passions and doing what you love?
It really takes a lot of honesty to find one’s passion. I found myself in an industry which I love but somehow there’s something missing. It’s giving me the big bucks and so it’s hard to give up. Meanwhile, I guess it’s not too late too look back and think – what did i wish I wanted to be when i was a kid? Surely, those dreams will come back. and i will ask myself- is it too late?
Rob Leonardo recently posted…3 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned About Managing Assertively
Hi Rob,
Fulfilling childhood dreams as one’s career isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. If you already love your industry, maybe the key is not to go looking so far away, but instead just to find that something that’s missing. Maybe there’s something that unlocks everything for you. Any sense of what that “something” is? Does it feel like an activity/passion – like you’re not enjoying activities enough at work, or does it feel like your mission or purpose is missing – that there’s a sense of meaninglessness that underlies things. If you can pinpoint the issue, you may be able to make adjustments and live your passions in your current industry, where you’re already making the big bucks!!
Hi, for those of us stuck (deeply stuck) in trying to start this journey I find that along with putting everything and everyone else first it is much easier to focus on what skills I am good at to get me thru the day. Robot mode—which is not to say it is right, just reality.
My first step is really finding a sense of who I am and keeping that as one of the priorities. It is so easy for ‘me’ to fall to the bottom of the list-the one that never gets the attention.
I applaud your work and thoroughly enjoy your insight (seriously feel like sometimes you are looking over my shoulder speaking to me…) this particular quote says it all…for me…
“…the greatest success is at the nexus of what we’re good at and what we love to do. And if there’s nothing at that intersection right now, use your passion to drive you to build skills in whatever area you love.”
Wow, Liz, what a huge compliment – it’s an honor to stand over your shoulder. Truly. 🙂
You’re exactly right. You do have to keep yourself as a priority. I don’t say keep yourself as the #1 priority, because I know that sometimes that’s too high a bar, and when we set the bar that high we feel like we’ve failed. . . But even just knowing when you’re consciously letting yourself fall to the bottom is better than being unaware of it and then wondering where the heck you put yourself.
It sounds like you’ve started, so pat yourself on the back for that. Sometimes its these smallest steps that lay the groundwork for what comes later, but don’t think that you haven’t started. You’re there. You’re doing it. Welcome.
Hi Jessica, I think a lot of people are misunderstanding what passion is. They might see it as something grandiose and explosive, and wonder why they don’t feel that inside. I believe passion to just be the number 1 priority in whatever area you are looking at. If it’s a career – what is your number 1 priority? Earn more money doing anything or do something that you look forward to each day? (or the holy grail – both together).
If you passion, mission or whatever you want to call it is simply earning more money then that’s a simple (if not easy) task. Just apply for the jobs with the higher numbers. If it’s something that you enjoy then we all have a skill that we can monetise or a belief that we can follow. Passion doesn’t have to be fire in the belly crazy, just something that feels right.
jamie flexman recently posted…The Most Important Question You Will Ever Ask Yourself
Jaime, that’s interesting. I agree – it does have to feel right, that’s the hallmark of it, maybe more than the fire and explosions people are looking for. But I think I still tend to think of it as something really exciting rather than just a high priority, something that does get one into the flow, get them fired up and all that. I’m curious to hear more about what you think of this. . .
Jess,
Excellent analysis of passion, mission, and skills. As you rightly pointed out, you can get bored of your passion, but not mission. This is one of the topics that I was going to talk to you about, but you already explained it here 🙂 Thank you!
It took me a while to learn the subtle differences between skill, passion and mission. After reading volumes of books on philosophy, including many of your posts, including this, I have come to the following conclusion:
Skill is essentially what you need to start making a living. You need skills to perform work for wages, that will enable you to support yourself and your family, in the most basic ways. Then you need to continue your work until you have created some savings and achieved financial freedom.
Now, the initial goal will be to meet the bare minimum requirements in life. During this phase, there is no time to experiment with work you love, work that you are passionate about.
This work, using your skills, is also your mission up to this point in life.
Once you are out of this phase, you start thinking of passion – which is what you love to do. While you are in search of your passion, you are also confused about your mission for the remaining part of your life.
It was at this point that I started questioning the “purpose” of life. After years of searching I finally found the answer that has now become my strongest conviction. “The purpose of life is to live for someone else”.
You will notice that when you go to a fine restaurant and have a nice dinner, the happiness lasts a few hours, may be till the next morning. But whenever you performed an act of kindness to help someone else, it will keep coming back to you for weeks and months, each time the very thought of it filling your heart with happiness and a sense of contentment.
So once you have identified the type of activity that you are able to perform and that fulfills the purpose of life, that becomes your mission.
At this point, that mission becomes your passion! You can see examples galore in real life 🙂
Jess, your mission as a life coach is to help people, and that work embodied in your mission is also your passion.
Also, the skill that you may have used in early life to make a living, need not necessarily be the skill that you use in fulfilling your mission (passion), although it could be…
Great topic, Jess! Thanks for bringing this up!!
Thanks so much Anand! I think mission, passion and skill can come at different points for different people. It can feel quite complex, can’t it!?! But the good news is that when you stop trying to understand it with your head and instead try to feel your way along the path, you can easily sense if you’re on the mark or off.
Thanks again!
Jess
Excellent article, Jess. Especially enjoyed your take on passion versus mission. Especially your take on how our mission can be a lifelong process or goal that takes on many forms.
I’ve been on a personal career ride from moving from what wasn’t even my passion to what I was very passionate about and very skilled at. But it was so hard to realize that it wasn’t my mission. Although I was good at it, loved it and made money doing it.
Now, I’m moving to a more trickier place where I’m using the old skill set and passion and in an entirely new area/field/blog/writing etc and determining if I can bring the success from my previous passions into what I feel is more in tune with my mission.
While I’ve been wondering (often) why I’m not doing something I was so passionate about, your article helped clarify for me why I left and affirmed what i need to be doing. Thank you!
Vishnu recently posted…Can We Elect Marianne Williamson to Congress?
Hi Vishnu. My hat is off to you for taking the leap out of something that felt comfortable in so many ways and into something you felt called to do – even though it sounds like it didn’t feel “fun” in the way we think about callings or passions feeling often times.
I’m glad you’re on the right path for you, and that I could help you to remember it.
Jess
Jessica Sweet recently posted…Finding Your Passion: The Big 4 Questions, Answered