“Never give up and don’t ask why because every situation does not need an answer. I’m a firm believer that I don’t worry about anything I can’t control.”
Eric Davis
Let’s face it. Sometimes you’re stuck. It can feel like there are secrets for being happy, and you just don’t know what they are.
Whether its the job market, the job you already have that’s just about killing you, or some other difficult situation, it can be really hard to be happy and upbeat in the face of it.
You don’t want to walk around miserable, spewing bile on the poor soul who is brave stupid enough to ask you how your day is.
But you just can’t seem to get over what you’re dealing with right now. And what’s worse, you don’t feel you have any control at all over the situation. You’re stuck.
Or are you?
You know, we’ve all been there. But the truth is it can be really hard to see what you do actually have control over from inside a situation.
So in order to help you out, I was able to get 5 modern day philosophers – some of the top personal development bloggers, to give up their secrets for being happy, even when you’re stuck in something bad.
And I didn’t even have to hang them by their ankles and shake! They were all kind enough to share their secrets freely.
I asked all of them one simple question, but the answers they gave are strewn with pearls of hard-earned wisdom.
Here’s the question:
What one piece of advice would you give someone who feels stuck in a life or a situation (i.e. a job) that they don’t like, in order to make them happier?
Here’s what they said:
Jeff Moore, from Everyday Power and JeffreyIMoore.com, a coach and speaker dedicated to helping you make your dreams and goals crystal clear writes:
Sybil Chavis created PossibilityofToday.com after changing her entire life through giving up complaining for 40 days. Incredible, right? She says:
I think the best thing to do when you’re unhappy with your current situation is to take 30 minutes every morning and for the first 5 minutes ask yourself questions:
Sandra Pawula’s blog is AlwaysWellWithin.com (one you might remember from my 15 blogs that deserve to be big post). Sandra’s wisdom is:
Kevin Cole is a life coach and the creator of PerformDestiny.com. I would tell you that one of the reasons I like him so much is that he’s got a no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase style. He would tell you he doesn’t do bullshit:
You don’t have to accept this.You can do something else.
Your well-being doesn’t have to be determined by your shitty circumstances. This isn’t “just a part of life.”
Ask yourself big questions like: “What the hell do I really want to do?”
Start to set your course for a better life. If you take action, then your job becomes temporary.
So go put one foot in front of the other, hustle on nights and weekends, and turn your tough situation into an opportunity.
Aaron Morton is a coach and big cheese at TheConfidenceLounge.com. Aaron is extremely thoughtful, and he makes no exception here.
Dani DiPirro is is the creator of PositivelyPresent.com (also of 15 little blogs fame). She helps us be present and positive in this moment, and her thoughts here are enlightening.
Our experts seem to agree. There are three things we really need to do:
1.Focus on what you can change,
2. Decide what you really want and work hard on creating it,
3. Be present and find joy right now.
Use this wisdom to help change your situation or change how you look at it or feel about it. Because you being stuck or staying stuck is not only bad for you, but it’s bad for everyone around you who doesn’t get to benefit from all the amazing things you might have done.
(If you’re in need of help getting unstuck, I just announced that I’m starting breakthrough sessions, which will help you get out of wherever you’re stuck, fast. Like in the next 60 minutes, fast.)
So tell me, whose answer did you connect with or resonate with?
Who did you learn something from?
What are your thoughts on my one simple question?
And what questions do you still have about how to actually pull this off?
Leave your answer in the comments below – and don’t forget to punch your karma card by sharing this post!
There’s no such thing as finished personal self development. You can go on learning, changing and renewing for all of your life.
One thing I might suggest that Mindfulness Meditation can be practiced anywhere and literally at any time you have free moment to be by yourself for a short while. You do not require anything other than quieting your mind. Just breathe normally, focus on the in and out breath slowly, over and over, for a few minutes.
if you practice this way everyday, for a good solid month, you will develop a great neural habit, a pathway of energy that can infuse tranquility and lead to insightfulness spontaneously.
Hi Jessica, thank you for gathering these insights. The one that spoke to me the most was the one by the Dalai Lama. GODdidthatspeaktomeorwhat.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”
I have been stuck on getting my business started. Mostly it has been myself getting in the way of my goals. I want to make a commitment to myself after reading your blog, and that is to focus on the freedom the Dalai Lama speaks of. Thank you for putting this article together!
Jess,
Thanks I love the article. I left a job that was not a right fit for me. It was not the work, just icky people. I am much happier and I get to work with a CEO that is doing amazing things. I am very shy, so I had to get over being shy and I’ve been networking and building my business. I am so much more happier than I was and I have been able to sleep at night. The one thing that I did not realize is how much this job was affecting my health, I was trying to make it work and my spirit was telling me that it was the wrong place. That quote by Victor Frankl is from The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People and I love that quote. I also read The Secret, which really made a difference. I visualize every single day and I am living my best life. I am so much happier and healthier. I have more time to spend at the lake and to take my walks and to just have time for my friends.
When you step out on faith and change your situation, the Universe supports you and it doesn’t mean you are not going to work hard, but it does mean that you will experience joy!
Thanks Jess,
Thanks Leanora. Good for you for going for it! I agree that we can make ourselves sick when we’re doing things in our lives that are just all wrong for us. Sometimes our bodies know before our minds are willing to recognize it. I’m glad you’re on a much better path.
Great words of wisdom from all of the experts. What I liked most is that it was actionable advice. When we feel stuck, we’re, well, stuck. In my experience, taking action of just about any kind will get us moving again, and we can adjust from there. Last week I heard someone say, you can’t steer a parked car. How true!
Thanks Pam! Love it. Yes, sometimes the hardest part is just getting moving – and you can make adjustments as you say. But overcoming the inertia can really be the hardest part.
lol, I completely missed the word guru when i was reading this, even though i was one of them writing the advice!!
Come to think of it I have been feeling a lot wiser in this last week 😉
Thanks for putting the article up there Jessica!
Aaron
The Confidence Lounge
Aaron recently posted…Is Personal Development Holding You Back?
Thanks so much Aaron! You don’t give yourself enough credit! You’ve been wise a long time I suspect!
Jamie,
Great article soliciting thoughts from some of your best life coaching contacts. I loved reading it.
It will be one year on October 18th since I lost my job…..a job that drove me nuts for the prior 2 years. It was simply unbearable and changed me from being positive and funny to a workaholic with no time for my family. In fact, I am “celebrating” my anniversary because it allowed me to be myself – POSITIVE!
I used the year off to decompress and boy did I need it. I spent more time with friends, family and became grounded again. Next I needed to fight the Why Me syndrome by shoving any pity party that started to creep into my soul. And boy did those negative revelers want to party. But I shut them down in a hurry.
This past weekend I decided to go into full time consulting but it is something I have thought about doing for a long time. I connected with an old contact who has worldwide contacts in the industry and he is helping me get on track with consulting gigs ready to go. All I need to do is create my website and develop materials that will help my clients become profitable. Needless to say…..I am a little scared but confident this is the right choice for me because I always wanted to be my own boss and help people be successful.
The article I most liked was the one from Sandra Pawula. The Viktor Frankl quote about the space between stimulus and response was very good. We own that and nobody can take that space away from us. I call it attitude. This space is where WE control our destiny.
I can go on but I must get ready for my daughter’s wedding……then onto my new career!
Thanks for sharing and I will be following your blogs.
Hi Bob! Thanks for being so honest about what you went through and how it effected you. I think most of us can probably relate to having a difficult situation that brings us down, and the Why Me? Syndrome (I like that! I might have to steal it. 🙂 )
I’m really glad you’ve gotten back on your feet again, and I wish you the best of luck with your consulting business. Keep us all posted on your journey- both with how business is, but also with how you feel going through the process!
Dani DiPirro gave a great point. If you can’t immediately change something (such as not being able to quit a job if you have kids for example), then you can always change how you feel about your current circumstances.
Accept the situation, but plan to change as soon as possible. Don’t resist the present and become angry, just let it wash over you and know that sooner or later things will change for the better.
I held on to this belief for a long time, even when I was completely stuck in a rut. As long as you put in the effort, things will always change.
jamie flexman recently posted…3 Confidence Hacks To Kill Your Inner Shyness
Thanks Jamie, you’re right. You have to give up the fight. Resisting what IS just makes us miserable. Accept it and make a plan to move forward. That’s the best way to take care of ourselves.
hey Jess – wise words of wisdom here. As a long-term follower of Sandra’s blog, I always appreciate her perspective on happiness and how to be always well within:)
Here’s the line I love from her contribution: So it comes down to training the mind to choose wisely and have the broadest possible response to whatever occurs in our life.
I think perspective and reflections on circumstances and our ability to change those are key to life. If we can’t our most horrific and painful experiences and see the positive in it, I believe we’ll be less fearful and filled with more love and happiness.
Not only change your perspective but agree with Kevin too – do something about it. If you’re in a rut, set the intention to get out of it and take some action.
Thank you for sharing these insights – a great reflection for the day!
Thanks Vishnu! I agree with you. Taking that 50,000 foot view of our lives from time to time allows us to see that what we might be experiencing as pain and “stuckness” right now, are exactly the thing we need to know and grow in the ways we need to moving forward. It’s the push through, the doing, that makes us able to handle all the good things that come next!
I never liked the word guru, to me it just sounds insincere, reminds of cults and scammers and makes me shudder a little bit every time I see it.
That said, this is definitely some great advice. Making changes to improve your day to day enjoyment of life, as well as starting to move towards your actual goals is the only real way to drag yourself out of a slump.
Ragnar recently posted…Struggling, My Reason For This Blog and Journey + Damaging Perspectives
Sorry for the ick-inducing word. 🙂
I agree – there is some great advice there. You have to stay positive even in the face of it, or it will only drag you down further. And you have to define what you actually want (not just think about what you don’t want) to start to move forward.
I like how Jeffrey asks, “how can we BECOME what we’re trying to do?” Great question!