For lots of reasons, you can overlook yourself.
You neglect your needs, like getting enough exercise or sleep. You neglect your desires, from simple things like trying a new restaurant, to deeper things like fulfilling your dreams. Sometimes, you even neglect your commitments. And you neglect your power – your ability to have and create what you want in your life.
It’s easy to get overloaded with work and family demands, and it’s also easy to overextend yourself with commitments to things that aren’t really that important to you – including entire parts of your life, like your job. It can leave you feeling stressed, burned out, and in need of a vacation all the time. But worse still, over time, it can leave you with a sense of loss when it comes to who you are and what you really want.
If you’re fried, by definition you’re disconnected from you. And eventually, self empowerment goes out the window.
Bringing things back into balance and reconnecting with yourself is possible. But first you need to make a commitment to reclaim yourself and your self empowerment.
The commitment is so important, because without it, your need to reconnect with yourself and your needs will yet again be pushed aside. But with a commitment, you are less likely to put your needs on the back burner.
Making the Commitment to Self Empowerment:
1. Set aside time for yourself. You’ll need to get back into a centered place from which to move forward. This will require that you give yourself permission to take time out of your busy day to do something for yourself, but you have to remember that if you’re not well, you can’t take care of anyone else. And well doesn’t simply mean in good or decent physical health. It means you’re well spiritually and mentally too. So take time to be sure you feel balanced and nurtured in all areas.
2. Verbally commit to what you want. If you are wishy-washy about what’s really important to you, you’re going to struggle with self empowerment. No one ever felt empowered by not stating their wants and needs. That doesn’t mean you’ve got to be a bully or always get what you want. Many people, women especially, fear that stating their needs means they’re being aggressive, and that by stating what they want they then have to fight for it or somehow they have been mistreated. Neither is true. You can state your wants, negotiate, and give up all or part of what you wanted (or get all or part of what you wanted) in a partnership or work setting and still be a “nice” person. Make a commitment to navigate the line between mature negotiator of needs and nice person.
3. Realize your choices: Everyday, you have many choices. You can choose to feel good about something, or feel bad. You can take the high road or the low road. You can be helpful or indifferent. You can feel stuck or empowered. There’s not always a right answer in any situation, but when you realize you have a choice and you own the power to control the outcome, you realize your level of self empowerment is literally awesome. I have a client whose habits of coming in to work early every day, working hard, implementing inventive systems and having excellent rapport with clients have gotten him noticed at work. He has empowered himself and as a consequence has attracted a huge opportunity at work. What choices can you make to attract more of what you want?
4. Take responsibility. Not just when something goes wrong. Also when something goes right, when something needs to get done, and when you have a goal you’re trying to reach. Ask yourself, “what can I do?” When you find your power in any situation – what you can do to take control or further your goals or make yourself happier, you will further your self empowerment.
Self Empowerment can Change Your Life
Self empowerment is literally the groundwork of creating the life you want. If you don’t believe you can, you won’t. But if you empower yourself to, you can, and you will do whatever you want. What would have to shift for you to be in a more self empowered mindset, and what would that self empowered mindset do for your life? I’d love to hear your answers in the comments below!