The thing about zombies is they don’t know they’re dead.
Sure, they eat brains, but they’re still walking around all day doing whatever it is that zombies do.
That’s why there’s a very real possibility that you’re a zombie and you don’t even know it. I’m fairly sure your brown paper bag doesn’t contain a brain-and-butter sandwich, but still . . .
So just in case, do me a favor and review the checklist below to see if you’ve joined The Working Dead.
1. You walk around half-awake: The working dead go through their day completing their tasks, shuffling from place to place, but they don’t really feel much while they’re doing it.
If your life lacks the excitement and sense of possibility it once had, you might be a zombie.
2. You don’t flinch at losing limbs: Well, you might not be losing actual limbs, but bad things happen – you get passed over for a project, you haven’t taken a vacation in a year – and it just seems normal for you.
If you’re so used to being mistreated that it hardly surprises you, you might be a zombie.
3. Your skin is falling off: Overall, you’re not looking so good. For the working dead, it’s been a long time since they’ve done anything but work, and they certainly don’t worry about self-care.
If it’s been ages since you’ve taken care of yourself (physically and emotionally) because you’re just too busy with work, you might be a zombie.
4. Your heart isn’t beating: The working dead don’t know what it is to put their heart into something. They just don’t love what they do. And no matter how much they might try, they just can’t muster the passion that would make them feel alive again.
If you have a passionless job that you just don’t care about, you might be a zombie.
5. You’ve lost your free will: Zombies don’t have any free will. They don’t get to choose, who to kill, what to take over or to flock to work during rush hour with a dragging gait. They do as they’re told.